Tuesday, 31 March 2009

The Grateful Gonzo Vs. Hyperactive man

This Sunday was a choir practice day, with lunch (12euros). This time we had a young man in his late 20’s who as well as being a vocalist in his own right, was there to improve our vocal skills and delivery. Fortunately his voice was clear so I understood most of what he said.
We eventually made our way through 2 of the passages from Rossini’s Petite Messe that we are due to sing to an adoring public in June.
It was a tiring day but it was not without some light relief and as ever, the following information may be of some use to you if you happen to have many hectares of arable land.
C attended a seminar given by a man from Perpignan on the subject of bio horticulture. As a result he has bought a shit load of hay (it costs very little apparently) and covered huge expanses of his land under one foot of hay. The brilliance of the scheme is that you don’t have to do much more than scarify the top of the soil before piling on the straw. The enzymes, bugs etc in the straw do the rest, softening up the ground, fertilising it etc. Therefore minimal work for the grower. The straw also keeps the moisture in the soil.
What if there is a high wind? I asked. The straw is all meshed together so it does not blow away in high winds.
What do you do with potatoes? Do you lay them on top of the straw?
No, you make a hole in the straw, make a small hole in the soil, put in your potato, soil back on top, then replace straw. And this saves time!!!!
Still he is very excited about his new regime and is looking forward to bumper crops.
Did I have a garden? He asked. I told him that I had a lawn. I did not mention that I had thought about buying a growbag to plant 3 tomato plants….

In the afternoon segment. A man in a raincoat, wearing dark glasses and carrying an SLR camera and a brief case asked if he could come in and listen.
Permission was granted and he sat on a table behind us. Perhaps he was a reporter for the local paper looking for a story on a slow day?
He did not sit quietly, but chortled away and occasionally voiced agreement as the teacher made his comments.
After an hour, he left.
However at about half past 4 he returned and stood just inside the door, front, left of the choir.
Not only was the young vocalist there to teach us, he was also there to sell his CD. To this end he sang us three songs, accompanying himself on his organ.
He gave us his spiel about his first song and the stranger by the door was once again making comments to the teacher.
I could hear “Who’s that twat?” being whispered amongst the men. No one seemed to know and the teacher was taking it all in his stride. Perhaps it’s the teacher’s agent I whispered.
The teacher’s recital began and the stranger, who had now become known as Gonzo, presumably after the Muppet Show character, was bobbling his head in mysterious ways to the music, and, wait a minute, what exactly were his hands doing?
They were dancing along to the music. It was a bit like rhythmical sign language to music. Was there no end to the stranger’s talents?
The male members of the choir were now chuckling quietly and describing him in a less than polite way;
Wait a minute he also seemed to know the words and was standing unsupported, singing along, while bobbling and hand dancing, while wearing sunglasses, and no guide dog (seeing-eye dog) in sight!
And women say that men can’t multi-task…..
Unfortunately the light level was not good so the photos are blurred but give some flavour of the event.

The multimedia performance ended and after putting some chairs away, I made my excuses and left, so I don’t know if Gonzo bought a CD.
I had been home only a few minutes when Hyperactive man turned up with daughter number 3. He has been getting prices for materials for the building work that he is to do for me. He also brought along brochures for a central
heating system for the whole house for me to study and do research on the internet. It will only cost 10 thousand euros (up 3 thousand since last time).
I still only intend to have some new radiators. He will return during the week with his brother or cousin who is a ventilation specialist and a central heating specialist. So much to look forward to….

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