Gordon Ramsey, Jamie Oliver are just cooks

Compared to me. I have been thinking of expanding my culinary range for some time and accordingly I recently bought myself a flan circle which has a glass base with the intention of making my first quiche. After all, how hard could it be? I couldn’t be bothered looking up a recipe but I had heard rumours that a quiche Lorraine required the following ingredients.


Pastry


Lardons (bacon bits)


Crème fraiche


5 eggs


I also added some pepper and a desert spoonful of moutarde a l’ancien

I unwrapped my packet of pastry, delighted to find that it was already in the shape of a circle. No rolling necessary. I greased the inside of my ring and the glass base with margarine to stop the pastry from sticking, then I fitted the pastry into the flan case.

Into the oven at 190 for 10 minutes.

It was a bit of a shock when I opened the oven and retrieved my pastry, to find that the pastry had puffed up rather a lot.

I pushed it back down as much as I could without breaking it, then poured in my quiche mixture containing the other ingredients before popping it all back into the oven.

Twenty minutes later I retrieved a slightly crispy cooked quiche from the oven. The quiche mixture had risen to give a light, fluffy texture.

It was time to release this mouth-watering meal, so I removed the scalloped ring. I reached for a wooden spatula and marked out 6 slices. I then attempted to remove two of the slices onto a plate.
The quiche was welded to the glass. Those of you who have watched these cooks on the television will know just how important presentation is.

Well at least it tasted like a proper quiche and not like the runny shop bought ones.
I phoned up S and told her about my pastry balloon. You are supposed to put in greased proofed paper and pour in rice or pebbles to stop the pastry rising, she said. You never told me that, I said. “You never asked” came the reply.....