last chants and demolition day

This wednesday was our last choir practice before the first date of our tour.
The pianist ambled in after our callisthenics and vocal exercises were completed and some of the soloists too.
The official line is that we are improving, but I am not convinced.
Due to my school choir career, where we practiced for competitions, I expect timings to be spot on, singing as a choir rather than as 4 separate sections, words clearly enunciated, and the conductor’s direction and timing to be perfect…….

Things are about to get moving? Friday afternoon just after 4pm Hyperactive man was due to arrive to start demolishing the garden shed. Madame and I waited in the garden. Some time after 8pm the boss, motorcycle man arrived?
Is HM not here? He asked.
No, we said. Madame offered him a drink of fruit juice. Now motorcycle man had been scheduled to arrive in a lorry to take away the shed rubble and various other items. He had hobbled up from his car.
He has an abscess at the bottom of his back and has spent the whole day at the hospital emergency department. The abscess is too small to operate on, so he has to return there on Monday. He has therefore not been to work, so could not turn up in a lorry. Hyperactive man has not turned up, so he leaves instructions for him to leave the shed and fix my stairs instead.
He leaves and about a minute later Hyperactive man appears. We explain the situation and his new instructions. He does not have any of the necessary tools with him, but will return early Saturday morning, not only with the tools to fix the stairs, but also demolish the wall round the flowerbed. Am I up at 7.30am?
I say that I usually get up at 7.15am. He revises his arrival time to 8am then 9.30am…… Rain starts to fall and the promised heavy rainfall begins.

Saturday dawn in all its greyness I had asked Madame if it ever hails here. She replies not at this time of year. I mention the Toulouse hailstorm with the 50,000 motorist damage claims. That was an unusual occurrence she says.
8am….9am…..10am….. Hyperactive man is obviously not coming.
There is a brown dog which I may have mentioned before. It stands in my parking area and watches the house. This is because Madame’s dog is a bitch. Several times I have tipped water onto it from my second floor window when it has ventured near enough. Other times, Madame’s younger cat chases it off the premises if she sees it. Today I saw it in the parking area and I got a bucket of water ready just in case it came within range.
A while later, I saw it and Madame’s dog across the other side of the road. He jumped on her back and started banging away. I swear he is looking at me and grinning. Job done, they headed off up the road together.
I begin getting my stuff together for tonight’s concert at St Cintegabelle Church. I top up my redundant bucket of water and head down to the car to wash the windows and apply some anti- rain juice. I am just about to apply the juice when spots of rain start to fall. I quicken my movements, finish the task and head back upstairs.
What a noise! Someone is throwing bucketfuls of peas onto my roof. I look out of the window and hail is hammering down. Fortunately not the golf ball sized hail stones. Madame would make a crap weather girl.

The storm passes as quickly as it came.
It is time to leave the house for the concert. I put on my choir togs, gather my music, snack, water etc lock up, get into car, programme sat-nav.
Return to house for hairbrush. Return to car. Return to house for something else. All set. Drive off. Realise I have left my official car driving documents and ID which must be carried at all times when driving. Round roundabout, back home, into house……
It is going to be a long day.