To begin at the beginning

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
As a newly unemployed person, I was at the door of my local Pole Emploi, just after opening time on the 2nd of April. A young man with a spring in my step eager to embark on the next player level of my "life in France" adventure.
Knowing the love affair that France has with bureaucracy, I was clutching a carrier bag of documentation which might aid me in my quest for unemployment benefit "allocation" and perhaps even a job.
"I've come to sign on"
here's a form, you can sit at the table over there and fill it in.
I filled in as much as I could, then went to the counter again (a tip, early morning is the best time to turn up, otherwise you risk standing in a long queue). I explained that there were some bits on the form that I wasn't sure about. The young man came back over to the table and we  went over the form. Next came checking through the necessary supporting documentation that I had brought "Oh dear" he said looking at my major weapon, my confirmation of the end of my contract. "They haven't filled it in properly"
There was a section which was blank"
"Can't we just fill it in now" I asked. He sucked in a breath through his beard and looked at the form again. There was a pause, then "Non"
So I packed up my forms and headed off across town to the Lycee that had sent out my document.
Reaching the office, I explained my problem. The lady apologised and it transpired that all that was missing, was an X in the box to say that my contract was finished!!! If only I had looked at the form, I could have saved myself the trip.
Back in the Pole emploi queue, I handed over my paperwork again. The lady riffled through the papers. Have you signed on? she asked. I thought, this is a bit odd, but I went along with it. "
"But that's what I'm here for" I said.
Oh no, she said, you have to sign on by telephone or via the Internet. She hung on to my paperwork, and I set off home to sign on.....

French letters

Since my Portuguese labourer left mid December, I have 2 vacant studios to let. The boss of the labourer continued to be a pain in the arse as he did not come and collect the furniture until 3 weeks ago. So if there had been people seeking a studio to rent I would not have been able to house them. I notice from my bank statement that the agency failed to get me any rent for December, January or February, so they continue to impress me.
However, for the first time ever, someone from the agency has come out and put a "to rent" sign in the window (facing out to the road no less!!). This is the first time that they have ever shifted off their backsides, so perhaps my notaire has changed the letting agency.
Times continue to be hard here on the employment front, with unemployment continuing to rise. This being a rural area with very little industry, except the seasonal tourist outdoor pursuits, such as skiing, climbing, canoeing, etc the area is suffering more than most.
There is a modern block of flats opposite my tumble-down lodging house. Sometimes he has had vacancies, but there are already tenants waiting to move in. At the moment he has at least 4 empty flats out of a possible 8. No jobs = no workers looking for a place to live = no tennants for little ol' wine drinker me.

Au chomage lycra or not

Hello everyone
As of the 1st of April I am now unemployed. I have 3 hours left of a contract teaching English to student nurses then zip.
All is not doom and gloom however. Last Monday I went to the Inspection Academique for an interview to become an AVS. Assistant de la vie scolaire. Whereas my last job was for a maximum of 2 years, renewable in 6 month chunks (or possibly not), this post is for a maximum of 6 years, renewable (or not) in 12 month chunks.
So, notionally I have a job, but it may not start until at least the start of the next school year, in September. I am on their waiting list.
What does the job entail? Well you are paired up with one or two children who have a disability, and who need a bit, or a lot of help to fit in to a normal school class, and to help them keep up with the classwork as necessary. The post does not entail teaching, that is the class teacher's job.
So I wait for the call up. Because I have been working and paying my cotisations, I will be entitled to some unemployment money.
I was at the local Pole Emploi this morning to start claim process. I then had to return in the afternoon with my completed form, RIB, copy of my carte vitale etc.
I also had to sign on to claim benefit. The only way to do this is by telephone, or on the Internet. So  once back home I went online and filled in pretty much the same form that I had just filled in in hard copy. (If only I had done this first).
I was then given a choice of 3 interview times to meet with an adviser, to discuss my claim and my proposed project to get back to work.
Tomorrow I will try and sort out my health cover. I believe that I can remain with the very efficient MGEN for some months if I continue to pay them a fee monthly.
I started looking to buy a breath test kit for my car. This will be  a compulsory piece of kit for all cars, from the start of July. Leclerc had none, so I will have to try elsewhere.
Now some cycling news. The Tour de France will pass about 30 metres from my house, so I will find it very difficult to miss seeing it. I must by some lycra cycling gear and a flag to wave, I have the time to shop now that I am "resting".

Chestnuts at dawn

I attended another annual event this weekend. A chestnut festival. Last year as well as munching on chestnuts there was a group of storytellers to provide the entertainment, this year it was a group of 9 French female "Country" dancers. Line dancers to you and me.
When I arrived the dancers were already ensconced at a table, kitted out in their cowboy hats, boots, scarves etc. They were keen.
Last year the venue was full, with kids running about all over the place. This year the crowd was at least halved, but the 3 children who did attend, ran about non-stop for the duration of their stay.
We started with the roasted chestnuts, which were nowhere near as nice as the ones that we ate last year. This year they were dry, some were bad, and some had dead bugs inside them. In addition to the roasted nuts, there were boiled chestnuts. These were difficult to open and even more difficult to eat. The flesh of the nut was reduced to a white paste. Yuck! not to my taste.
There were pancakes and various drinks that you could buy, and there was also a plastic cup of mulled wine for the adults.
The dancers were very keen and after dancing to several of their pre-recorded songs they invited people to join in. I managed to stay in my seat. Having been a "Square dancer" for a year in the mid 90's I know to look down on this inferior form of dancing.
I left at about 10 past midnight, but the dancers were still going strong to their selection of about 10 songs and some local ados had arrived to bulk up the dwindling numbers.
Here is a short video of the dancing, The teeny-tiny lady in the white trousers is the school and town hall cleaner and although she was struggling to keep up, she was having a whale of a time. Good on you Z!

The two marquises

Nothing much to I have started at my new school and have done 2 stints of 3 hrs 20 mins each time. The little office that I work in is also the head teacher's office. Her admin day is Tuesday, but she was busy elsewhere for most of that afternoon. Unfortunately there is no internet access in the office, although a new pc workstation was installed the morning before I arrived. Hopefully the internet access will not be long, the town hall needs to do a bit of cabling work. The school staff, teachers and ALAE staff all seem pleased to have me there, but as the classrooms are on the first floor and I am on the ground floor next to the school's main doors I am rather out of the way of them and the life of the school, unless the phone rings and I have to go and find the relevant person. It is  going to take me a while to get settled in.
Last Friday one  of Madame's friends friends came to help me install two perspex porches over the two front doors. All was going well, and my side of the porch support for the "marquise" was safely screwed into the wall. Unfortunately things were not going well on the other side of the door, as two of the screws broke off in the wall as he tightened them.
We continued with the marquise over Madame's door, and that was installed without any problems. Of course Madame (who had pestered me for months to buy and install this object) immediately lost interest in the proceedings and had to go and lie down on her canapé. I offered to test the porch by getting her to stand under it whilst I poured a bucket of water out of an upper window onto it, but she declined. So the next morning I was at BricoDepot  to try and buy or blagg replacement screws and raw plugs to restart the failed installation. I was passed from person to person and finally the 4th person indicated which bits and pieces I should buy.
I returned home, Madame phoned her pal, and the bloke returned. Fortunately all went well, but some of the screw covers have disappeared.
Do they stop Madame getting water into her flat when she opens the door when it is raining? I have no idea as it hasn't rained for about 2 weeks now and we have had to put up with temperatures in the 80s. At last summer has arrived!

Schooled

Yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from the college that controls my school admin post contract. The lady told me that my contract was now ready to sign and gave me the name of the schools that I will be working at until my contract runs out at the end of March 2012.
I am staying at my current school for 10 of my hours, and the remaining 10 hours in a school in a village which joins on to the outskirts of my town, about 12 - 15 minutes drive away depending on the traffic. I could walk there in about 50 minutes.
So on Monday afternoon I will be going to visit my new school and the directrice, staff, kids etc. This school was built in 1994, so it will make an interesting contrast to the old school buildings where I have spent my time so far.
I am still waiting for confirmation of my 20 or so hours teaching English in a nursing college. I am due to start my first session of the teaching year in about 2 week's time......
So that is the way my working life is shaping up at the moment. Someone has asked me if I will give some English tuition to a lad of 14, who has been doing English for 3 years, but who for some reason during the last year attended hardly any English lessons. I met him briefly.
"What's you name?" I asked. He thought about it for about 30 seconds, during which I repeated the question slowly several times. In the end I had to ask him his name in French.
I then tried "How old are you?" "I'm fine" he eventually replied. The 7 year olds in my school can answer these two questions without any problem. I think that he will need to put in an awful lot of work if he wants to reach the required standard for his year...... I am not sure if I will do it or not.

Dancing Queen

The fete was due to continue at 9pm with a procession with majorettes, old cars, marching bands etc but it had been raining almost all day. What to do? I put on my pac-a-mac, slung my camera round my neck and set off into town. Rigsby is not afraid of rain.
As I neared the centre of town I knew that something was wrong. There was traffic coming towards me. Usually the road is blocked off to allow the procession to take place.
It was raining quite heavily as I arrived at the Halle. I sat at a table and drank a couple of beers while some of the bands played under cover of the Halle's new roof.
Finally it was time for l'orchestre Mission to take the stage.
Yesterday there had been a little old lady dancing to the music with the whole floor to herself. She was back again. As the music began a shuffling figure complete with her shopping trolley and clutching a band publicity sheet. She was hot to trot once again.

Dancing with your shopping trolley can be tiring, luckily the wheels makes the transition turns quite smooth.
However she got tired of trundling it about and attempted to park it behind the security barrier, through a convenient gap, which was just not big enough for her to squeeze it through. The lead guitarist was watching her as she switched to plan B and started trying to lift the trolley over the barrier. He gave up playing and came to assist her.

She decided that her dance partner would be safer on the stage, so this is where it ended up.

Now unencumbered, she was able to shuffle about and wave her arms, she even shouted noises into the proffered microphone from time to time
Finally, just like a scene from Mama Mia she was hoisted up onto the stage to join in the band's final song.

So a very successful night for the dancing queen. Thankfully France is full of characters. (and I should know, I'm one!)

Meanwhile the rain was hammering down. The band stopped at 1.30am but the rain didn't so Rigsby paddled home in his new shoes.