Funny Business

By my last meeting with my Instep co-ordinator, I had decided that my chances of breaking in to real French employment were less than zero, especially with firms closing down at a quick rate. I have been completing my TEFl training book 3 over the last few weeks and sent it off to the UK for marking / comment. The only thing that I can realistically do better than the average French person, is speak English.
The previous day my French teacher said that I should write to an organisation that she knew were going to have to ensure their staff’s ability to speak and read English due to new Government policy. So with my councillor’s assistance we spent most of the session writing a suitable “prospecting” letter.
I also asked my advisor how to go about setting myself up as an official person teaching English to people in their homes etc.
This turned into my homework. Go to the Chamber of Commerce and they will advise you on the best course of action, then go to your bank and talk to them about a business account….
The next day I trot along to the Chamber of Commerce (CCI). As in January, I do not get past the reception desk. I have just explained what I wish to do and the receptionist is pondering, when a lady comes in through the front doors. Relief shows on the receptionist’s face and she explains my quest. No, I should not have come here, I should have gone to Oorsaph. This turns out to be URSSAF. This organisation is on the outer edge of town near to the LeClerc supermarket. I say that I know the area as it it where I went in January to register as being unemployed.
The next day I go to URSSAF, which although I have a road number for, cunningly conceals both behind a hedge, hidden from view on a plaque on the wall beside the entrance which is hidden from the road.
I go in, see a door marked Welcome. So like Alice, I knock and open the door. Of course there is a meeting going on, so I close the door and look at the other doors leading off from the foyer.
A lady comes out of the room and I explain my visit. She will phone someone and if they are free they will see me, but if they are not free, they will be able to tell me when they will be free…..
She phones and someone will be right with me.
I follow the man into the main building and into a strange room, with bar type stools. We adjust our stools to suitable heights and I explain myself once again. Man then launches into a torrent of very fast French (Sigh!). He gives me a form to take away, which I can either fill in myself or if / when I return, he will help me fill in. I could also fill in the form online. But first, he says, I must go and speak to my ANPE advisor to discuss what the best type of business would be for me, when would be best time to start up as a business etc. I would not be able to call myself a teacher (Professeur) of English, because only people with teaching qualifications obtained in France can do that.
Today, 4th May, I set off to see if I could get an appointment to see my ANPE advisor only to find that she is once again on holiday, and will not be back until some time next week…
In between all this no progress, there was a sub plot. The newspaper said that the French Government had decreed that free English lessons should be made available to school children / students, over the summer holidays. One of the categories of person was for natural English speakers.
My French teacher wrote me a reference and that evening I sat down at the computer to fill in the multi-page form. This triggered a power-cut for the whole town, which lasted for 20 minutes. I went to bed.
Early next morning I resume my task to fill in the online form. This proves impossible as I cannot possibly fill in the myriad of compulsory, asterisked fields on the form, e.g. I cannot name the French University and the courses that I have completed there for the last 5 years.
At French, I explain my predicament. Mr teacher looks at the website and spends most of the morning on the phone, being passed from one person to the next, being cut off, listening to music etc. He is now a bit pissed off and after 2 hours he decides to ring the local education department to find out if they can explain how I can possibly fill in the form. He finds out that the people that work there have all taken annual leave….
The next day when I arrive at French class. Mr teacher explains that when they wrote Native English speaker living in France, they really meant, existing French language assistants already teaching in schools……
So another door closes.

9.12.2008 Tuesday - A dull boy

A Mizzly, drizzly day today so I stayed in listening to books and ploughing on with revising workbook 2 of my teaching english course. I phoned the TEFL company yesterday to find out how much it would cost me to complete the course as I had not completed within the 18 month time slot allowed. So I am now £80 poorer.
Perhaps once I have completed the final 2 workbooks, I will do an intensive 4 or 5 week CELTA course.
Still no news about the electricity situation by the close of office hours. The lawyers firm that manages my lettings has now sent me a 2 page copy of a document reminding me of my obligations as a non-residential landlord. I have not got a clue what it is about.
She also sent me a 33 page document regarding Daveed’s rental contract.
The French love paperwork. Do the French themselves read all the documentation?
Still no second paint quote. The value of the pound against the euro continues to fall at an unbelievable speed.
I am finding it hard to get motivated into listening to my choir homework disc. The choir webmaster sent out a document to all choir members today. It shows which vegetables grow well when planted close together and which ones do not get on at all. I am sure that I will find it very useful if I ever acquire an allotment or potager, however at the moment I haven’t even got a potager to piss in!
If anyone should want a copy of this vegetable pdf file, send me your email address and I will supply you with one.

6.12.2008 Saturday – Future plans and Miss France

Well here I am in France. My living quarters are now habitable, just some rather expensive external painting to be done, ventillation and dampness issues to sort out.
Thoughts turn to how to make some money. I will need to visit the ANPE (job centre) at some point to register as seeking employment.
A couple of years ago I attended a 20 hour teaching English as a foreign language course over a weekend.
I then started on the follow up 80 hour correspondence course, which for various reasons I have not completed within the required 18 months. I have started reviewing the two work books that I did complete and will phone the company (if it still exists) to find out if I can carry on with the course, and if so, how much it extra it will cost me.
I could then do a 4 or 5 week TESOL or CELTA qualification in the UK or abroad, at a cost of approx £1.5 thousand. Would the outlay be worthwhile?
I also started a personal coaching and a corporate and executive life coaching courses, which I did not complete within the required time span. Should I pursue this / these qualifications at the extra £!k plus that this would cost?
Anyway I will plough on with the teaching english workbook for the moment.
I went for a walk into town in the sunshine to clear my head, if not my ears.The evening the Miss France competition was televised. I went t bed well before the end of the competition, but Chloe Mortaud. the 19 year old local contestant Miss Albigeois Midi–Pyrenees won and will be Miss France 2009!