Moving experiences

They live in a modern apartment block with nice wide tiled stairs, so quite why the numpties across the road chose to remove their two settees though the window of their 1st floor flat remains a mystery to me. Being geniuses they also didn’t ask any of the other residents if they would mover their cars so that they could hurling their furniture around with no chance of damaging occurring. Of course two of their mates chose to park in my garden and carry boxes across the road from the flat and load up their cars. Once again, not even a “Excuse me, I know that you have all these signs up saying private property and No parking, but can we park in your car park for a couple of hours so that we can help our mates move house...

I wonder how much it would cost to install an electricity supply down there and install those big posts that can rise up out of the ground?
A few days later I was taking advantage of another summer-like day, minding my own business, cutting my lawn, when an unknown van with a slatted double mattress frame pulls into my parking.
Fortunately I noticed that Madame was in the front passenger seat, so I kept mowing.
“We will need your help, she said. I want to install a sonnette at my bedroom window, so I will need to put a cord round the metal of the railings outside your bedroom window” she says.
The woman is mad, I think to myself. I ask her where exactly the sonnet will end up as I don’t want to have a doorbell right outside my bedroom window.
“He doesn’t understand a word that I am saying” she say to the man driving the van.
Eventually I understand. She doesn’t want to install a doorbell, she wants to hoist the mattress frame up in through her bedroom window using a block and tackle and rope looped round the railings outside my bedroom window.....
You see, if only the French would speak clearly....
A sweaty hour later, we had forced the bed through the window shutter frame and into her bedroom.
Her old bed mattress was still in situ, including the bedclothes, so the bed had to be stripped, the mattress manoeuvred to one side. The old mattress frame was covered in material and was thicker than the old one.
After attempting to saw it up so that it would go through the window, and finding that due to the wire frame and bedsprings inside that this was impossible, a hole was made so that the rope could be attached more securely for lowering it down, should we manage to fit it through the window.
We manoeuvred it almost completely through the window. Madame was supposed to take the weight of the frame on the block and tackle / rope combination.
The bed is over the sill and I am taking pretty much the whole weight myself. The man goes downstairs and thankfully I am no longer taking all the weight.. My arms are a few inches longer and my ribs feel as though they have popped out and back in again.
There is also the lawn to finish.
We put her bed back together complete with mattress and bedding, and I returned to my role as gardener, wringing with sweat.
Before you ask, the stairs in Madam’s apartment are very small and narrow, so the stairs were not an option.
Quite how one man and a woman with numerous disabilities including a bad back were intending to do this bit of sommeiller shifting on their own is beyond me.....

19 Aug 2008 Tuesday Lots of stuff but no show

No phone call from the removal company, but they turn up at about half past ten. It is good to see my stuff again. What the f am I going to do with it all? Fortunately I have kept the downstairs studio empty to put the boxes into.
It is very hot and the two men sweat buckets getting the heavy stuff up to the second floor. It takes several hours.

Most of the rest of the day is spent moving things about. Then we walk into town for something to eat and to see the advertised singer at the Irish pub. The poster has disappeared and no singer appears. We are almost the only people in the place. We have mussels and chips which is okay but nothing special.

13.08.08 Le depart

Taxi arrives at 4am. We have shelled out for speedy boarding and 3kg extra baggage between us. Most of my clothing and books etc will have to be left behind for another trip. Taxi driver is very chatty and does my head in. Why would we be interested in his problem that traffic lights in Bristol at night remain active forcing him to take roundabout routes?

At the weigh-in we are probably just a smidge within our 43kg limit for hold baggage.
My hand luggage is held up at the security scan. After some time, a man comes to the desk and I have to open my small suitcase. The problem is that I have two small spanners wrapped in bubble wrap. What are they for? I think that they are to tighten the nuts on my bed. How do you explain that to airport security?
He goes away, confers, then comes back and tells me that if I try to take them onto a plane as hand luggage again, they will probably be taken off me.
“Mummy, what is that man doing out on the wing, trying to dismantle the plane with two very small spanners?” Perhaps I could have sabotaged the refreshment trolley.

Still it could have been worse. My beltless trousers could have fallen down while I was waiting at the desk.

What is Bristol Airport short of? Seats for passengers who are waiting for their flights. Someone has had a brilliant idea. Take away a quarter of the seats and instead, have a Porsche and a Audi Quattro on display and sell raffle tickets to win them at £20 a time.
Plane leaves on time and we land at Toulouse airport 20 minutes early.
Hire car is a 4 door Hyundi i diesel. The gears are really stiff.
Sat nav plugged in and we are off. The motorway traffic is very light and we arrive chez moi without incident.
Dumping off the suitcases, we head off to the supermarkets on the outskirts to buy some food and other essentials.
Of course it is 12.30pm and all but one shop is closed until 2 or 2.30pm.
We do some food shopping and hang around

Back at the ranch, Madame has found some keys. I must have dropped them in the car park when I left last time.
I have new tenants. One speaks French and English as well as whatever his native tongue is. There is another bloke sharing the studio with him. He speaks neither English or French. The notaire who manages the lets, has given him the key to my post box, fortunately he has kept my post. I choose another post box.
Further good news is the the joint between the toilet bowl and the waste pipe leaks everytime you flush. I will need a plumber.
Now to regain contact with the outside world, with the wonderful wireless internet, TV and internet telephone package that I purchased from Orange in June and which would have been activated in mid July.
I try every combination of every phone socket and power socket with the livebox and my computer and my new telephone.
2 hours later I give up and we go to bed.
Thanks to Knittingdales Removals non-participation in my moving experience for another 6 nights, we have purchases 2 thin lounger mattresses to sleep on. There was a glimmer of hope on the possibility of buying an double airbed from Leclerc on one of their flyers in the post box, so we had whizzed out again. Do you have any airbeds for sale Madame? Non.

New beginning

Hello all
This will be the home of my new blog. Unfortunately I had to move it from its original location on the web, as my 2nd ex-wife found it and left stupid comments on the guest book.
At the moment everything is on schedule for the flight to France on the 13th August. Unfortunately, despite having giving Nothingale, my removal company a couple of months to organise delivery of my possessions. "We will organise our delivery round your requirements", I have just been told that they hope to deliver on the 19th August.
Those of you who know that an earlier attempt in June led to me sleeping on the floor for a week when they failed to deliver due to a haulage strike. I complained about this latest delay, and the manager of the company said that he would see what he could do.....