Wednesday, 12 August 2009

New boutiques and panties.

(Ok, I lied about the panties, call it poetic licence, but it was a great album)
I don’t know. You take a bit of a rest from blogging, safe in the knowledge that hardly anyone reads it, to recharge the old batteries and the weather promptly turns to rain for 5 days or so. This makes you feel that you should sleep for as much of the day as possible as the French lessons are on annual leave.
The days drift by and sometimes you look to see if anyone else is writing their blog, but hardly anyone is. They are probably too busy enjoying sunshine, or rain, or perhaps even becoming shopkeepers. Obviously only very few of my few readers will know what the hell I am on about but, like me, my mind is mysterious.
I have just read the Duchess of Kent’s non-fiction book, the moon and the serpent (in French so it was a bit of a hard slog at 500 or so pages). The book is all about one of Princess Pushy’s ancestors, namely Diane de Poitiers, who was the mistress of King Henry II of France, and the triangle completed by his wife Catherine de Medeci (the serpent) in the first half of the 16th century.
So perhaps I haven’t been that idle after all?
Anyway, several times I have switched on the old laptop to write some blog, but workmen have turned up, or I have decided to get some photos ready for the blog etc etc.
Writing a blog can lead some to introspection. Fortunately, being shallow, that wouldn’t give me much material to go on. Blogs can also be an outlet for despair, yearnings, complaints etc but you can read all that in the newspapers whose job it is to keep the nation depressed or fearful.
Perhaps my blog is designed to cheer people up. If anyone reads my blog, I want them to end on a, “bloody hell, poor bloke, I’m glad I’m not in his shoes” and return to their lives feeling lucky with the life that they have got, rather than with a “lucky bastard, he has escaped the world of work and lives the high life in a land of perpetual sunshine”.
So there I am in blog limbo, not waiting to be discovered, looking at an average of at least an hour plus per post, more if there are photos and Blogger decides to make it impossible to move the photos about, or even worse, decides that the hidden html code is faulty and it will not publish the post. So you start from scratch again.
Just to remind you that this is a post about my shed, in case you have wandered off thinking about what to put on your weekly shopping list.
Damn me if I don’t get a comment from small American who shall remain nameless, but we will refer to her as (JNRR), implying that I am falling down in the blogging department. The 13th Aug will be the first anniversary of my new life in France. I might have been in the process of reviewing my year. Lining up the lists of successes and failures, compiling graphs, facts and figures etc as some people do. But not me, anyone who wants to know that will have to wade their way through the whole blog from start to finish just like I had to do.
Sharing the highs and lows as I did, one day at a time.
So as a tribute to JNRR here at last is an update on my garden shed. One man’s shed is another man’s and / or woman’s emporium project.

From this

Via this

To this

Now all I have to do is fill in the form to say that the work has been completed, someone comes out to inspect it, decides that it is either okay, or too big, too high, the wrong colour etc etc..
Abnormal service will be resumed shortly with hints on tidying up and an African music festival report.
Yes, Rigsby is back on the job.


  1. hate to break it to you, but I much preferred the original! what a shame you didn't just bolster it up and use it. what did you do with all of that lovely old wood? was it rotted or eaten by insects? that would be the only acceptable excuse, truly!

    Now then congratulations on your anniversary, I'm disappointed at the lack of profundities but well impressed that you've read the serpent tome in French. Tell me, was Madame de Poitiers as ravishing in french as she is presented in english?

    gotta run and tend my empire ...

  2. The wood was dry and hard, like old toast and twisted (like me), so was not doing it's job any longer (again like me). It was not even any good for a barbeque.
    In my French translation of the original tome,Diane de Poitiers was a beauty of her time. Today she would probably be considered rather manly. She maintained her good looks and health by not wearing make-up (full of poisonous gunk which literally filled in the cracks, and caused them in the first place), bathing (at least once a week), using only rain water to wash in, washing her face regularly with rose water. She made her own simple lotions. She educated her younger lover the King (by 18 years or so)in all areas, and but for her the Renaissance movement started by King Francois might not have continued. When out riding, one covered one's face with a mask on a stick so that the nasty sun could not get at it. She kept her skin a lustrous alabaster She loved to hunt and spent at least 3 or four hours in the saddle most days. She allegedly kept her good looks and health until her death at the age of around 60, despite falling off horses and breaking legs etc in her late 50's. Her style, was to wear only black and white, thus inventing the mod style. I expect that she looked a bit like a chess board on legs. She probably kept her smile by using teeth pulled from dead people and wired together with a bridge of gold or silver wire.
    In fact she invented the health and hygiene routine that you probably follow today. Hello! Hello! come back here and stop rubbing your face in the wet grass.....


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